Our 2nd Anniversary!

Tomorrow is our 2nd wedding Anniversary. I honestly cannot believe we have been married two years already. With everything we have been through in the past two years there is no doubt in my mind that I have the best husband. I know I couldnt go through this journey without him beside me.

Happy Anniversary hun!

I love you!

There was a tornado yesterday!

This house was split in two!! God was watching over this family. But please pray for them.

Good Morning!

Yesterday we got warnings that we were going to get severe thunderstorms and possiblity of hail. The weather network did mention tornados, but obviously you never think that will happen to you.

When the rain started coming I was getting excited. I LOVE thunderstorms. I have always been a huge fan of them. I remember growing up that my mom used always say it was God playing bowling in heaven:-) I saw how dark the clouds were, but when the rain passed I figured that the storm must not have been as big as they thought it was going to be...until I logged onto facebook and saw all the status updates about the tornado.

The house that was split in two is just a few roads over from us. Thankfully there was no one in the house at the time. God was obviously watching out for them.

On other news we are somewhere midcycle. Im not really sure what day in the cycle I am at. One of my fellow bloggers posted a very beautiful post about her journey through IF and her faith with God. She has really inspired me to become closer to God and continue to hand this over to God. This cycle has been very different from previous cycles. We are focusing more on us and on our relationship with God. It feels really great and free.

WFW

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:23-26

Where has this week gone??

Good Afternoon!
The past week and a bit have been super busy; which has been great. I obviously moved onto another cycle. However this cycle we are not taking any meds and no IUI. Its been a huge relief not having to plan everything around my fertility appointments. I know that we have only had 3 IUIs, however that in itself has been physically and emotionally draining.
Last week my close friend had her second baby, and I had the honour of looking after her 14 month daughter. Regardless of my struggle to concieve, the birth of a baby is such a miraculous event. I just cant get over it, and Im getting teary eyed as I type this. Im just amazed at Gods work! Isnt he awesome?!
This weekend as been really busy. My sister in law is over from out west for the past week and than on friday night I hosted a bachelorette party for another good friend of mine at my house. We had a great time drinking and just being girls;-).
We have been really working hard at paying off our credit cards and paying any other bills we may have. We got our taxes back and we both got a good amount back so we put most on the credit card and paid off all our other debt and than we used the last little bit and went out and got a laptop!!!! I have wanted one for so long so last night we went out and got a HP Pavilion, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it!! As Im typing this I am sitting with my feet up watching a movie;-)

I want to thank you all for your support, especially the past little bit. I really dont know what Gods plan is for me. But I intend to enjoy this journey as much as possible. GOD IS GREAT!

Word Filled Wednesday and 12 DPIUI

I was drawn to this verse today and I thought I would share...

Psalms 73:28

"But it is good for me to draw near to God. I have put my trust in the Lord God that I may declare all thy works."

On others news I am currently 12 DPIUI and not holding out too much hope. I started spotting yesterday. Which is usually a sure sign AF is on her way. Im just looking forward to some good news coming my way. I WANT a baby, I WANT to be a mother! And I WILL become a mother. These tears, frustrations and broken heart will be worth it one day.

Thank you! and a great poem

I want to first thank you all for your comments on my last post. We have decided to take a break for a few months. I really feel God pulling me into another direction. I dont know if I will come back to this route or not, but I just know I need to try this out for a while. The more I research about the mind body infertility connection the more I am drawn to it. I came across this poem by Sue Dumais who is the founder of Family Passages Mind Body Studio for Fertility in Vancouver. Here is her blog if you would like to take a look. I thought I would share it with you.

This Deep Desire

There is nothing else that will make me happy

There is nothing that compares

This deep desire to have a baby

Is my only care

I will do anything and everything

To make my dream come true

Diet, herbs and exercise

There’s nothing I won’t do

My journey through fertility

Becomes heavier every day

I hope this nightmare has an end

Please make it go away

All I want is to have a baby

A child to call my own

I am done with fear and with doubt

I don’t want to feel alone.

As I look deep down inside myself

I realize I have known

All the answers that I seek

Are within a place called home

This place inside me is all I need

To regain my sense of hope

Inner wisdom, trust and faith

Are there to help me cope

As I step back into my sense of self
I know I will be ok
The choices I make are empowering now
And at home is where I’ll stay

8 DPIUI...

Good Afternoon!
Its sssooo nice to have some warm weather. However with the warm weather my husband only becomes busier! This past week he has been working non stop with only about 4 hours of sleep a night. I will be thankful when he can finally get some rest.
So this past cycle I have been doing a lot of thinking. With the summer just around the corner and soon to be 3 IUIs completed I feel like taking a break. Not a break from trying but just a break from IUI's and possibly medication as well. I know that I ovulate on my own, and as of right now everything looks *perfect*. DH has great sperm count, my lining and my follicules have been great, and I have been Oing on my own. So Im just wondering if it just hasnt been the *right* time yet. I have started looking into the whole mind body infertility connection, and of course have been praying and asking God to lead me down the right path. I feel it would be good for me to forcus on my health(relaxation as well as exercise) and also just focus on my hubby and me. I know that if we continue to have the IUI throughout the summer it will put a strain on where we go, and also on my hubby(summer is obviously VERY busy for him on the farm).
What do you think? And if I do take a mini break for the summer should I continue with the clomid and femara? Or take a break from that as well?
Thanks in advance for your advice:-)
On another note, I finally caved and have started tweeting:-). I told myself over and over again that I would not 'tweet'. However I joined and have found sssoo many others who are dealing with IF. Its been great so far!
This past week I have also been getting back into my WII fit. I got in a couple months ago but have only exercised with it a few times. So this week I have started and am actually really enjoying it. I LOVE the yoga and the areobics. Its just a great way to get in some exercise.
I think thats it for now...
I just ask for any advice you may have as well as some prayers. I really want to do whats right and follow Gods plan.
Have a wonderful day!
God Bless

Had my third IUI on friday

So friday morning we went in for our third IUI. Its nice knowing what to expect, I wasnt nervous at all. As we were in having the IUI done, I was talking with the nurse who was doing it(the same nurse who as done all of my IUIs) as we got talking she mentioned that it doesnt matter how may treatments or what drugs you are on, when its Gods time for you to have a baby he will bless you with a baby. I started to tear up and than she started crying. She than kept talking about her faith and about trusting in Gods plan. It just felt really special knowing that she was a christian. Everything else looked great, I have two follies and my linning looked good too. Before the IUI I told Remko not to expect his sperm count to be higher than last time. If you remember from last time he had a sperm count of 161 million. I was trying to prepare him that it was going to be lower this time, he however wouldnt listen to me at all. So after the IUI I asked what his count was.....177 million!!!!! I still haven't heard the end of it from my hubby. And I think he is still grinning! lol

Its been different this cycle. I have felt very peaceful about it, and know that there is a chance that we could be pregnant but I also know and have come to accept that there is even a bigger chance we could not get pregnant. For the first time Im ok with that. Yes its still devestating and heartbreaking. But I know that God does have plan for me, and I just have to keep my faith and trust in God and HIS plan.
God Bless, and Happy June!